Overdue

Baby J  was a couple days overdue, but what is really overdue is her birth story! I have been friends with M and J for years. We attend the same church and were trying to conceive our last babies together. I was thrilled when M asked me to doula for her. Her first son was born via c-section after he went into distress after an induction due to elevated fluid levels. We were anticipating a vbac since history wasn't bound to repeat itself.

M was due in August which put me at 15 weeks pregnant myself. This was a good time to be doulaing as I was (mostly) out of the morning sickness phase and wasn't too big to be of help. There was some concern that I wouldn't make it because my oldest son was scheduled for spinal fusion surgery in mid-August, but the stars aligned and 3:00 am one Sunday morning I got call from her husband. He told me that contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes and were pretty intense. I will admit that I paused when he said that this had been going on for only 15 minutes. But, a Mom needs me when a Mom needs me and we had no idea how this birth would progress since M was induced last time. So I threw my stuff in the car and headed the few blocks over to their house.

M was laboring on her hands and knees in the living room and I could tell that these contractions were not being nice. I thought maybe Baby wasn't in a good position, so I suggested some different positions for M to labor in, but it wasn't reducing her pain. M's parents were on their way up to watch their grandson, so we couldn't really head to the hospital until they got there. I suggested trying a bath and that took the edge off while we waited. M was able to get through contractions with a combination of breathing, moaning, and having the water running.

I stepped out of the room to greet M's parents and to give them some privacy. It was almost 4:00, only an hour after I had been called. As soon as the grandparent's arrived we got Miranda dressed and we went over to the hospital.

The hospital was only a 5 minute drive at most. I was in front of M and J and I was stopping at the stop signs because I could just imagine the pain of dealing with a ticket, but apparently M was cursing me "There's no stop signs in labor!!" LOL

We made it to the hospital at 4:17 and M was put in a wheel chair for the ride up to L&D. No sooner had we arrived at the room did M's water break in the wheelchair. There's no turning back now!! Our first nurse was named Jessie and we all got a kick out of M telling her that she smelled nice. Unlike most laboring women in unbelievable pain, M was polite and funny her entire labor.

M took a sip of Gatorade and immediately threw it up. Her body was telling us that it meant business! They put M on the monitors about 4:30 to get a baseline and see how things were moving. She was checked and was 2 cm and 80% effaced. 80% effaced is fantastic! Sometimes our bodies efface before they dilate and so we were optimistic that her body knew what it was doing despite not having a chance the first time.

Things were very intense about 5:00 and the nurses took blood and started an IV. M was managing contractions sitting on the edge of the bed, clinging to J while I applied counter-pressure on her lower back. What she really wanted to do was "cuddle up" with J, but baby had other plans. Another cervical check found her at 3 cm and -1 station. This is happy news! M opted for some oxygen shortly after the second cervical check and we got the ball rolling on an epidural. Her contractions didn't start off mild and far between, they started off with a bang and we all felt that in order to progress she needed some rest and pain relief.

The epidural was administered at 5:40 and we noticed mucus plug when M laid back. Another move in the right direction! About 6:30 Nurse Amy checked M's cervix and it was 3.5 cm and 100% effaced! Nurse Amy placed a catheter and then we settled in to watch Stand by Me.

Nurse Shelley came in about 7:15 and adjusted M's position. We were having a hard time getting the monitors to stay in the right place and Baby was showing some decels, so after some discussion, they placed internal monitors about 8:00. Cervical check revealed 4 cm and some head swelling.

Baby was not as happy as we would like her to be, but to give M the best chance at having a vbac, MW Jen did an infusion - which is putting fluid back into the uterus to give the baby a little cushion. This seemed to help and J and I had breakfast while M dozed until about 10:30.

At that time they did another cervical check and M was 5-6 cm, and 0 station. So Baby was coming down just like she was supposed to. The epidural was not working as well as M would like and when pushing the button didn't provide relief, the anesthesiologist came to top it off about noon.

M was checked again at 12:30 and again was making good progress - 6-7 cm and about +1 station. Baby was having some decels and by 1:00 they were getting longer and more concerning. The Nurse, MW, and OB came in to access the situation.

They all felt that things were not emergent at this point and had M switch positions. They talked about using a dose of terbutaline to stop the contractions for a while and give Baby time to rest. After another couple of concerning decels, M and J felt like terbutaline was a good call and they administered that at 1:12. Cervical check showed even more progress at a solid 7 cm and +1 station.

M's uterus was not responding to the terbutaline and Baby was not happy. Despite EVERY effort to facilitate a vaginal birth, the MW came in to discuss a c-section with M and J. They were given time to think and pray and at 2:00 they signed consent. As a doula, it's always hard to see a birth take an unanticipated turn, but I really was impressed with M's team and how they were willing to try everything they could to keep Baby happy while M labored. I felt like they wanted M to have a vbac almost as much as she did and they only recommended a c-section when they knew the pros outweighed the cons.

M was in the OR 15 minutes later and after she was settled they let J and I in. My position was such that if I just stuck my hand around the corner I had a great view for pictures.

At 2:40 we heard the glorious sound a baby crying and the Dr's pronouncement that she has RED hair! They also told us that the cord was not only wrapped around her neck twice, but it was wrapped around her arm and her hand. It was no wonder that she was having trouble with decels.

After a brief check up and weight on the warmers, Baby J was reunited with M. The OR nurse was wonderful and not only helped M do skin-to-skin, but held the baby so that they could nurse right there in the OR!

Baby J

2:40 pm

7 pounds 14 ounces

20 inches

A Hand to Hold

This birth was unexpected. So unexpected that I think it was nothing short of Divine intervention that brought me to it. M's original doula was in the middle of what turned out to be a 36-hour birth, her backup doula was at a long preterm birth, so she called my friend Jessica at Under My Heart Birth Services. Jessica later called me in... 

M was induced on a Tuesday night, Jessica was called to her Wednesday morning and they spent all day Wednesday rocking labor. This was M's first baby and she was hoping to go natural and they were having luck getting the breast pump to bring on contractions. I was called Wednesday evening to see if I could pull an overnighter because Jessica needed to get home to her family.

I didn't know M at all and only knew a few things about her. Her husband was unable to be at the birth due to being in another country, but M had two wonderful friends that were also helping her labor. I liked her as soon as I met her and was a little jealous of her head scarf; she looked beautiful in labor!

I arrived a little before 8:00 and Jessica got me up to date and made sure that M was comfortable with me before she left. M was last checked at 6:00 and was 3cm and 70% effaced. She was using the breast pump when I got there, but contractions were coming regularly enough that we didn't keep using it for long. 

I had M sit on the birth ball and lean against the bed so I had access to her back during contractions. This position allowed her to open her hips and get some rest between contractions. She had already been laboring so long! Her aunt left to eat some dinner and change clothes and after about an hour we decided to try to tub again.

The tub was smaller than I would've liked for a mom in labor and the only comfortable position was reclining back. M quickly found that contractions hurt worse like that and we soon got into a rhythm of pulling her to up to sitting position during contractions and helping her lie back between them. I could tell a difference in the intensity of contractions in the tub even though M preferred not to make a sound. She reached for my hand to help her up and would squeeze it; I would tell her how awesome she was doing and remind her to relax, but I was impressed with how well she could handle them! In between contractions we chatted to get to know each other a little better. Eventually I turned on the diffuser with some peppermint to try to counter the "hospital smell", turned off the lights, and turned on my little candles.

She stayed in the tub for about an hour and a half and decided to get out once her toes started to prune. She moved back to the birth ball and decided to try the bed on her side about 11:00. I could tell she was exhausted and thought she might be able to snooze between contractions. Her midwife came in shortly after and checked her. She was a little more than 3cm, 100% effaced, cervix more anterior, and baby lower. We were hopeful that now that the cervix was fully effaced she would dilate faster.

M talked to her midwife about her pain relief options because the pain was at a 10 in intensity and even though she was handling them beautifully she didn't think she could go much longer. She opted to try IV pain relief and got her first dose about 11:30. We tried the peanut ball on her, but it was so huge it was ridiculous. M's aunt and friend returned about this time and we sat by her bed ready to support her when she woke up in the middle of a contraction. I think she was able to rest between them, but I'm not sure if it was worth it to be caught off guard by the contractions.

She had another dose of meds about 1:30 and was checked again at 2:00. We were all pretty shocked and bummed that there was no progress after 3 hours of regular and intense contractions. At this point M opted for the epidural and we were all hopeful that letting her body fully relax would be the nudge that her cervix needed, but Pitocin was also discussed.

I was able to stay in the room and support M during her epidural. It took longer to place than usual and wasn't much fun for her, but she was a trooper. Immediately after the epidural her BP dropped and the baby's heart rate went down. Everyone in the room was busy trying to remedy that and I heard talk of a crash c-section (which made my heart drop). The midwife quickly put an internal monitor on the baby and the heart rate went right back up. The baby's heart rate had been perfect for the entire labor, and didn't give us any trouble after that scare.

Because of the scare, a couple of OBs came in to talk with M about the possibility of a c-section so that if it became an issue later she would be informed. Once things settled down she was checked again and found to be 4cm, 0 station, and 70% effaced. I know that it's possible for moms to reverse in dilation in labor when they are not comfortable with their surroundings, but I'm not sure if this was a reversal in effacement or if it was just a mis-measurement. Either way, she HAD progressed, but not much and everyone agreed to start the pitocin.

M had been itching everywhere since the epidural was placed and they were finally able to give her some Nubain at the same time they placed her catheter and started the pitocin. We all settled in for a "long winter's nap", excited about the possibly of M waking up ready to push.

I woke up about 6:45, unable to really get comfortable so I snuck out and got some food from the cafe downstairs. M was woken up about 8:00 and checked - no progress. Oh how sad those words make me! They upped the pitocin some more and decided to wait and see and check again around noon. M's water had been broken for 28 hours at this point and she had been in the hospital for almost 36 hours, but the baby was doing fine so they were okay to keep trying.

At this point I had to start thinking about getting home to my kids and what the day was going to look like. The original backup doula was available to come in, but I hated to give M another doula! Jessica and I decided that she would come back in the afternoon and that if it came to it, I would come back again that evening. We were just waiting to see what the next check would say.

At 11:00 they checked her again and she was 5cm and 70% effaced. They put an internal monitor in to measure the pressure of the contractions so that they could make sure they were giving the right dose of pitocin. (I should mention that the internal heart monitor fell off twice because the baby had a TON of hair! The midwives went back to the belly monitor after the second time). The new midwife said the baby was OP, so we found a smaller peanut ball and had her using that. I talked to the midwife about using peppermint oil on the back to help an OP baby turn and she was okay with us trying so I used some with coconut oil. Her back had a lot of tape on it from the epidural, so I'm not sure if I got it in the right spot.  

We planned for Jessica to come at 2:00 and depending on how things were going one or both of us would be at the birth. M had mentioned that she was fine because she had gotten the epidural, but no way were we not going to stay until the grand finale!

We tried to let M rest as much as possible and just keep her company since there wasn't much we could do. We helped her switch sides, gave her sips of water, and I rubbed her legs with my coconut oil.

2:00 rolled around and the midwife came to check her again. I think we were all holding our breath! Sadly, there was no progress even with the pitocin being turned up every 20 minutes. Not only that but the cervix was starting to swell and the baby's head was molding (which is not common at 5cm dilation). At this point the midwife reluctantly had to recommend a c-section. She went over all of her concerns with M and then left the room to give her time to process and decide what she wanted to do. She could choose to continue laboring, but the pitocin was giving her strong contractions and it hadn't done anything in 3 hours.

Having been in this situation myself, I knew a little bit of the pain that M was feeling. Of course every mom is different, but this was hard news for M and I wanted her to know that it was okay to be sad, mad, angry; whatever emotion she was feeling. It's okay to cry - and we both did. Jessica arrived right at this time so I left the room to update her. 

All the care providers were great and we got them to agree to let two of us into the OR with M. She eventually decided that she wanted her friend and myself to be in the room and so we suited up. M had not wanted any pictures of her labor, but I encouraged her to let me take pictures of this experience as it was such an emotional thing and she might not remember much.

S (M's friend) and I had to wait for a while outside of the OR while they got her all ready to go. I was a little nervous that attending a c-section might bring up stress from my son's birth, but once I got in the room I didn't even think of anything but M and her little baby.

M appeared to be sleeping, but I gave her my hand and she would occasional squeeze it. I have found more and more that my hands and my voice are what I use most at a birth and that was all I needed in the OR.

The surgery took longer than I expected, but soon they were lowering the curtain so M could see. I put my camera on continuous shutter so that I could capture as much as possible.

Since there was meconium in the water, they took her right over to the warmer to check her over - look at that hair! ♥

She took a few moments to pink up, but she sure had that pouty lip down from the beginning! Simply adorable! And she was crying real tears which I have never seen a newborn do!

S was able to stay in the OR with M until she was done being sewn up and I went back to the room with the baby where Jessica, M's aunt, and another friend were eagerly waiting.

Unfortunately, I had to leave at this time to relieve my babysitter, but Jessica was able to stay and help M get some skin to skin time and try to nurse the baby. We both went to see her on Sunday and we happy to see the baby nursing and M smiling. Even though we weren't able to develop a prenatal relationship with M, we have a great fondness for her and her sweet baby F!

3:36pm

8lbs 4oz

20 inches

Happy Birthday, DS1!

This birth story is slightly different from my others in that I wrote it from DS1's perspective. Enjoy!

Mommy thought that she was going to have me on May 15th, I, of course, knew better. I was nice and cozy in her tummy and I was in no hurry to get out. I was planning on staying with her until it was time to go to college, but somehow my water balloon got popped! When Mommy woke up on the 23rd and thought that her water had broke, she called the Dr and he told her to come on in and they would check her out. I heard Mommy talking to Daddy and he said he was going to go with her. They kept talking about having a baby. I wasn't ready, but I couldn't find the hole to plug it up!

After Mommy and Daddy went to the Doctor’s, they headed straight over to the hospital. Mommy was very excited that she was finally going to meet me. I have to admit that I was a little curious to see what she looked like too. I heard lots of voices that I have never heard before and someone told Mommy that they had to give her antibiotics because she was Strep B positive – whatever that means. Every once in a while my comfy home would get really tight. Mommy called these contractions. Apparently, they wanted MORE of them; I didn't want any of them. It’s very hard to sleep when you are being squeezed! Mommy called Grandma to let her know I was coming and Daddy called his parents and sister. I must be very popular because everyone wants to know when I’ll be here.

After Mommy was done getting her medicine, she got in a really big tub with some nice, warm water. Then she turned the bubbles on which made some noise. The warm water made it not so crampy for me, so I decided to take a nap.

Grandma got to the hospital, so Mommy got out of the tub. They put on a movie to pass the time, but I could tell that Mommy wasn't really concentrating. They finally decided to get up and take a walk. I heard somebody say that maybe I would come faster. Little did they know that I had no intentions of going anywhere!

Finally, about 3:30 a nurse came in and gave Mommy “pitocin.” I don’t know what that is, but I started getting squeezed a lot more and a lot harder. Apparently, this hurt Mommy because she started to cry whenever it happened. Maybe she felt sorry for me. At 4:15 another Doctor came in and gave Mommy something in her back. She said that she couldn't feel the contractions anymore and now she had to stay in bed. I could still feel them, though and they weren't getting any better.

Mommy and Daddy weren't doing much. I could hear them talking with Grandma and at one point Daddy left to get some dinner and then Grandma did the same. Mommy said that the epidural must be wearing off because she was starting to feel pain again. She asked the nurse to she if she was ready to push. PUSH?! They really were going to kick me out of here!

About one o’clock in the morning, there starts to be a lot more noise in the room. There is a woman’s voice that I don’t recognize that keeps telling Mommy to push when she has a contraction. The contractions are really hurting her now, but she tells Daddy that it feels better when she pushes. Daddy and Grandma are right by Mommy and Mommy laughs because whenever she pushes, they hold their breath too.

Mommy had been pushing for a long time. At 3 am, I am still struggling to stay put. Every time Mommy pushed, it pressed my head up against a bone. This doesn't feel very good and I start to turn around. I hear Mommy telling me not to do that, but I can’t help it. Mommy was getting very tired and frustrated. She really wants to hold me. She asks Daddy to give her a blessing because she is not sure if she can keep pushing. She is crying because she does not want to have a C-section. Daddy gives Mommy a nice blessing; he tells her that I will be born healthy and that we will both make it through with no problems.

After that, the contractions started to slow down and Mommy got a little break between pushes. I felt bad for making her sad, so I wasn't holding on anymore, but my head was too big. The Dr came in and said that maybe Mommy’s body was trying to tell her something. He thought that since there were no more contractions that he would have do a C-section. I was still happy where I was and Mommy wanted to keep pushing, so the Dr said that we could keep trying. Mommy pushed until 4:30 and then her and Daddy decided that they better just go in and get me. Daddy said that he felt this way since talking to the Dr, but he knew how much Mommy wanted to keep trying.

Mommy got to take a break from pushing and the nurse gave Daddy and Grandma some funny clothes to wear while they were getting me. At about 5 o’clock Mommy and me were wheeled into another room. Mommy was put on a different table and they gave her some more medicine. I heard lots of people talking. Mommy, the Dr, Daddy, Grandma, and a bunch of people that I have never heard before. Somebody kept pushing on me and before I knew it, I saw a lot of light and felt really cold. I let out a mighty cry to protest and then I heard Mommy cry too. It was 5:33 am, I heard Grandma tell Mommy that. People were touching me and warming me up and finally I got to see my Mommy for the first time. She told me how pretty and perfect I was and kissed my check. And thus started my journey in this world.

That’s me! May 24th 2002

You can read DS2's birth story here, and DS3's here. Stay tuned for DS4's birth story!