"I can and I will!"

I first met C and her husband J when C was about 36 weeks pregnant. She was very excited about having a vbac and was looking for a doula with vbac experience. Our meeting went well and she called me the next day to hire me. We meet again about and week later and two weeks after that she went into labor...

I woke up to my phone ringing and something in my brain said that my alarm was also going off so when I saw C's name on the caller ID I thought how great it was that I got a good night's sleep and answered with a chipper "Good morning!" I walked into the other room to talk so I wouldn't disturb my husband and realized it was only 2:45. C told me she had been having regular contractions since about midnight and wanted to have me meet her at the hospital. She had one contraction on the phone and it appeared she was handling them fine. I wondered if I had time for a quick shower, but then she had another, more intense, contraction and I felt it was best to just head over. We were only on the phone for 6 minutes!

I gathered my things and headed out the door. The hospital she delivered at is about 30 miles away, but I didn't have to deal with traffic or weather so I got there about 3:30. In fact I beat them to the hospital. I was told to wait in the waiting room and anxiously watched the elevators for a laboring couple to appear. After about 20 minutes a woman appeared, went into L&D and was sent back out to the waiting room. Turns out she was C's mom (aka Grandma)! We talked and tried not to be nervous that C&J still hadn't arrived. Grandma called C but didn't get an answer. We were really hoping that she didn't have the baby in the car (her first labor was really fast), but if she did at least she got her vbac! ;)

Finally about 4:20 Grandma got a call from J. They had just been triaged (used a different elevator) and C was 10 cm with a bulging bag! We burst through the L&D doors and could barely stand to sign in before almost running down the hall.

We were met by two OB nurses, an OB, two newborn nurses, a smiling J, and C on her hands and knees with her face buried in the pillows. The room was tiny, but we managed to dance around each other. C was AMAZING! I immediately got some coconut oil and started rubbing her back. The OB said she was +3 station, so this baby was well on his way! Nurse #2 wanted to start an iv, and it was almost all C could do to stick her hand out.

Not too much later Nurse #2 left and the birth photographer showed up. Yay! Julie Miller was great to work with! She was friendly and encouraging, but also professional and "in the background" (which was hard to do in this tiny room!) I highly recommend her to anyone looking for a birth photog because while I bring my camera, my first responsibility is doula! Julie provided all the black and white photos in the post! :)

There was no time for any of the tricks in my bag. I offered a hand to hold, words of encouragement and cold wash clothes. After pushing on her hands and knees for a while, we got C to change positions. We were going for a squat, but lying on her side felt good, so she pushed for a while like that. There were times that C became fearful and I did my best to remind her that this was NOT the same as her first birth. This baby was coming out vaginally, we could already see him! Baby hung out on the perineum and didn't even try to slide back in. C pushed and pushed, moved onto her back a little, and then pushed some more. Strained pushing turned into screams and we encouraged her because she pushed her best when she was screaming! Between contractions she begged her sweet Baby to come out.

After just a little over an hour pushing, C gave that final push and B's head was out followed quickly by his body. Oh, the tears of joy from everyone involved! He gave a mighty cry and was quickly placed in his mother's waiting arms. He cried for just a brief time and then fell asleep skin-to-skin with his momma. ♥

The OB had to deliver the placenta and all that fun stuff (NOT!) but we were very excited to hear that C hadn't torn at all! She got her all natural vbac baby with no tears and she was just giddy about it (so was I!)!

The room was getting full with 2 grandmas, a doula, and a photog, so I turned on my "mean doula" hat and kicked everyone out so that C&J could bond a little with their sweet boy. When we came back in he was nursing like a champ! Baby's temperature was quite low (no wonder - that room was freezing!) so they had to take him to the nursery to warm him up. Julie and I stayed with C so that J could be with the baby.

They brought him back after 30 minutes or so but the nurses wanted C to get up to go potty and she asked if I wanted to hold the baby - like I would ever say no to that!

Best.job.ever!

I like to make sure that "my moms" are settled in their recovery rooms before I go home, and Julie wanted to get pictures of Big Brother meeting the baby, so we hung around and made sure C had everything she needed. When her room was ready we gathered up all the bags and went up a floor. C was able to take a shower and then they took the baby to get his first bath. After that Big Brother arrived (love those moments!)

I gave hugs and headed out about 11:00. It was a great way to start the day!

Baby B
5:27 am
6 pounds 8.4 ounces
19"

Congratulations on your au natural vbac, C! It was truly an honor to be there, so happy for you!

A Hand to Hold

This birth was unexpected. So unexpected that I think it was nothing short of Divine intervention that brought me to it. M's original doula was in the middle of what turned out to be a 36-hour birth, her backup doula was at a long preterm birth, so she called my friend Jessica at Under My Heart Birth Services. Jessica later called me in... 

M was induced on a Tuesday night, Jessica was called to her Wednesday morning and they spent all day Wednesday rocking labor. This was M's first baby and she was hoping to go natural and they were having luck getting the breast pump to bring on contractions. I was called Wednesday evening to see if I could pull an overnighter because Jessica needed to get home to her family.

I didn't know M at all and only knew a few things about her. Her husband was unable to be at the birth due to being in another country, but M had two wonderful friends that were also helping her labor. I liked her as soon as I met her and was a little jealous of her head scarf; she looked beautiful in labor!

I arrived a little before 8:00 and Jessica got me up to date and made sure that M was comfortable with me before she left. M was last checked at 6:00 and was 3cm and 70% effaced. She was using the breast pump when I got there, but contractions were coming regularly enough that we didn't keep using it for long. 

I had M sit on the birth ball and lean against the bed so I had access to her back during contractions. This position allowed her to open her hips and get some rest between contractions. She had already been laboring so long! Her aunt left to eat some dinner and change clothes and after about an hour we decided to try to tub again.

The tub was smaller than I would've liked for a mom in labor and the only comfortable position was reclining back. M quickly found that contractions hurt worse like that and we soon got into a rhythm of pulling her to up to sitting position during contractions and helping her lie back between them. I could tell a difference in the intensity of contractions in the tub even though M preferred not to make a sound. She reached for my hand to help her up and would squeeze it; I would tell her how awesome she was doing and remind her to relax, but I was impressed with how well she could handle them! In between contractions we chatted to get to know each other a little better. Eventually I turned on the diffuser with some peppermint to try to counter the "hospital smell", turned off the lights, and turned on my little candles.

She stayed in the tub for about an hour and a half and decided to get out once her toes started to prune. She moved back to the birth ball and decided to try the bed on her side about 11:00. I could tell she was exhausted and thought she might be able to snooze between contractions. Her midwife came in shortly after and checked her. She was a little more than 3cm, 100% effaced, cervix more anterior, and baby lower. We were hopeful that now that the cervix was fully effaced she would dilate faster.

M talked to her midwife about her pain relief options because the pain was at a 10 in intensity and even though she was handling them beautifully she didn't think she could go much longer. She opted to try IV pain relief and got her first dose about 11:30. We tried the peanut ball on her, but it was so huge it was ridiculous. M's aunt and friend returned about this time and we sat by her bed ready to support her when she woke up in the middle of a contraction. I think she was able to rest between them, but I'm not sure if it was worth it to be caught off guard by the contractions.

She had another dose of meds about 1:30 and was checked again at 2:00. We were all pretty shocked and bummed that there was no progress after 3 hours of regular and intense contractions. At this point M opted for the epidural and we were all hopeful that letting her body fully relax would be the nudge that her cervix needed, but Pitocin was also discussed.

I was able to stay in the room and support M during her epidural. It took longer to place than usual and wasn't much fun for her, but she was a trooper. Immediately after the epidural her BP dropped and the baby's heart rate went down. Everyone in the room was busy trying to remedy that and I heard talk of a crash c-section (which made my heart drop). The midwife quickly put an internal monitor on the baby and the heart rate went right back up. The baby's heart rate had been perfect for the entire labor, and didn't give us any trouble after that scare.

Because of the scare, a couple of OBs came in to talk with M about the possibility of a c-section so that if it became an issue later she would be informed. Once things settled down she was checked again and found to be 4cm, 0 station, and 70% effaced. I know that it's possible for moms to reverse in dilation in labor when they are not comfortable with their surroundings, but I'm not sure if this was a reversal in effacement or if it was just a mis-measurement. Either way, she HAD progressed, but not much and everyone agreed to start the pitocin.

M had been itching everywhere since the epidural was placed and they were finally able to give her some Nubain at the same time they placed her catheter and started the pitocin. We all settled in for a "long winter's nap", excited about the possibly of M waking up ready to push.

I woke up about 6:45, unable to really get comfortable so I snuck out and got some food from the cafe downstairs. M was woken up about 8:00 and checked - no progress. Oh how sad those words make me! They upped the pitocin some more and decided to wait and see and check again around noon. M's water had been broken for 28 hours at this point and she had been in the hospital for almost 36 hours, but the baby was doing fine so they were okay to keep trying.

At this point I had to start thinking about getting home to my kids and what the day was going to look like. The original backup doula was available to come in, but I hated to give M another doula! Jessica and I decided that she would come back in the afternoon and that if it came to it, I would come back again that evening. We were just waiting to see what the next check would say.

At 11:00 they checked her again and she was 5cm and 70% effaced. They put an internal monitor in to measure the pressure of the contractions so that they could make sure they were giving the right dose of pitocin. (I should mention that the internal heart monitor fell off twice because the baby had a TON of hair! The midwives went back to the belly monitor after the second time). The new midwife said the baby was OP, so we found a smaller peanut ball and had her using that. I talked to the midwife about using peppermint oil on the back to help an OP baby turn and she was okay with us trying so I used some with coconut oil. Her back had a lot of tape on it from the epidural, so I'm not sure if I got it in the right spot.  

We planned for Jessica to come at 2:00 and depending on how things were going one or both of us would be at the birth. M had mentioned that she was fine because she had gotten the epidural, but no way were we not going to stay until the grand finale!

We tried to let M rest as much as possible and just keep her company since there wasn't much we could do. We helped her switch sides, gave her sips of water, and I rubbed her legs with my coconut oil.

2:00 rolled around and the midwife came to check her again. I think we were all holding our breath! Sadly, there was no progress even with the pitocin being turned up every 20 minutes. Not only that but the cervix was starting to swell and the baby's head was molding (which is not common at 5cm dilation). At this point the midwife reluctantly had to recommend a c-section. She went over all of her concerns with M and then left the room to give her time to process and decide what she wanted to do. She could choose to continue laboring, but the pitocin was giving her strong contractions and it hadn't done anything in 3 hours.

Having been in this situation myself, I knew a little bit of the pain that M was feeling. Of course every mom is different, but this was hard news for M and I wanted her to know that it was okay to be sad, mad, angry; whatever emotion she was feeling. It's okay to cry - and we both did. Jessica arrived right at this time so I left the room to update her. 

All the care providers were great and we got them to agree to let two of us into the OR with M. She eventually decided that she wanted her friend and myself to be in the room and so we suited up. M had not wanted any pictures of her labor, but I encouraged her to let me take pictures of this experience as it was such an emotional thing and she might not remember much.

S (M's friend) and I had to wait for a while outside of the OR while they got her all ready to go. I was a little nervous that attending a c-section might bring up stress from my son's birth, but once I got in the room I didn't even think of anything but M and her little baby.

M appeared to be sleeping, but I gave her my hand and she would occasional squeeze it. I have found more and more that my hands and my voice are what I use most at a birth and that was all I needed in the OR.

The surgery took longer than I expected, but soon they were lowering the curtain so M could see. I put my camera on continuous shutter so that I could capture as much as possible.

Since there was meconium in the water, they took her right over to the warmer to check her over - look at that hair! ♥

She took a few moments to pink up, but she sure had that pouty lip down from the beginning! Simply adorable! And she was crying real tears which I have never seen a newborn do!

S was able to stay in the OR with M until she was done being sewn up and I went back to the room with the baby where Jessica, M's aunt, and another friend were eagerly waiting.

Unfortunately, I had to leave at this time to relieve my babysitter, but Jessica was able to stay and help M get some skin to skin time and try to nurse the baby. We both went to see her on Sunday and we happy to see the baby nursing and M smiling. Even though we weren't able to develop a prenatal relationship with M, we have a great fondness for her and her sweet baby F!

3:36pm

8lbs 4oz

20 inches

Introducing Baby J

My relationship with T started off as client/doula, but I quickly became fond of her and her family and was eager to see her succeed in an unmedicated vbac. Her first daughter was a c-section after a failed induction. We were anxious to see how this labor played out.

Tuesday afternoon T began having regular contractions and we texted back and forth. I was pretty sure that she was in early labor; SO exciting since she never went into labor with #1. My advice is always to rest and see if the contractions will go away because they will pick up if it is real labor, but I never took my own advice as a laboring mom, and I didn't take it as a doula either. lol I spent the day gathering my supplies and attempting to leave my house clean for my family.

We kept in touch and by 9:30 things were looking promising. The contractions had spread out, but were getting longer and stronger. I decided to go to bed and see what sleep I could get before I was called out. I had just gotten in my pajamas when T asked me if I could come up because things were getting harder. Any tiredness I was feeling was instantly gone because this was it!

I was on my way about 15 minutes later and got to her house about 11:00. T was a little nauseous, so I diffused some peppermint and we talked until she had a contraction. The pain in her back was so bad that she could only deal with them on her hands and knees. I noticed that she also went into an asymmetrical squat (which can help get a baby to turn). I highly suspected that the baby was back to back with Mom, so I encouraged those positions to try and get the baby to turn.

I talked her through contractions and encouraged her to lower her moans. Her husband told her to channel Barry White. lol High pitched vocalizations close the throat which in turns closes every other sphincter (aka the cervix), so that's why we were going for low. She had about 10 contractions in 45 minutes and they were getting longer and closer together. Because the hospital was 30 minutes away and she's a vbac we decided to go in and see what was up.

After all the questions and getting situated, the triage nurse checked her and she was still 1cm and posterior, but 50% effaced. I admit that I was shocked at this news since she had been contracting regularly for 9 hours already! However, 50% effaced was good news and I tried to focus on that. After the required monitoring they sent us to walk with the threat that if she didn't progress she would be sent home. T was in a LOT a pain and I just couldn't imagine them making her leave!

We walked the loop around the maternity ward, all of us falling to our knees when a contraction would hit. T got sick once and I could tell by her pace and the look on her face that she was *exhausted* and her body was probably having an internal battle over sleep or dilation. So after only 30 minutes of walking they let her get in the spa and I set up the diffuser again.

Every time they checked the baby she was happy as could be. The tub helped the pain somewhat, but the contractions were still really hard on T and she got sick once again. She stayed in there for about an hour and a half and then decided she was getting hot and wanted to get out and see if she had made any progress.

4:00am - 3+ hours of regular, painful contractions since her last check... NO change! I was shocked and devastated for her. The best they would do was give her some Ambien and send her home. She had an OB appointment scheduled for later that day and they advised her to keep it. I asked if she could take the Ambien and sleep at the hospital, but no way. I couldn't believe they would send her home in so much pain, but there really wasn't any other option except giving her a c-section right then.

So they headed home and I slept in the car for a couple hours before I headed home. I crawled into bed with my phone nearby ready to head back up at a moment's notice. I woke up about 11:00 and hadn't heard anything from them. I was hoping that she was still in a drug-induced sleep and I texted her about 11:40 with some suggestions on positions and things she could do to try to help the baby turn. Ten minutes later her husband called me to tell me they went to their OB appointment and T was 6 cm dilated!! This was FANTASTIC news as she never got past 4cm with her first labor.

So I jumped back in the car and headed back up to the hospital. T was being monitored and wanted some lavender essential oils so I put some on her gown. I could tell by her vocalizations that these contractions were different. She would count during contractions and it seemed to be a great distraction for her.

She labored in every position we could think of and tried walking some more. Nothing was comfortable (if labor can be comfortable) and nothing took away the back pain. She was recovering well between contractions and when she was checked 2 hours later she was 8cm, completely effaced and -1 station.

I tried to have her use the bathroom often and keep changing positions. She tried the shower, but that wasn't doing anything for her. The Ambien had only given her a couple hours sleep at most and she was now at 24 hours of labor.

At 5:00 she used her code word "Squirrel" and said she couldn't do it anymore. I could hardly blame her, she was a super hero in my book! It was a tough decision for her and she went back and forth; between contractions she would say she wanted to go a little longer, and during contractions she would call out "squirrel!" At 5:30 the OB broke her water to see if that would help move things along. She was still at 8 cm (stuck there for 4 hours) and there was meconium in the water, but the baby was still happy.

The anesthesiologist came in at 5:45 and talked to T about her options. T opted for a walking epidural so that she could still move around and squat to push. She had to stay in bed for a hour until she could actually walk with the walking epidural so we used this time to rest. Her husband ordered dinner and I thought about eating after he was done, but really didn't want to miss anything so I got some chips out of the vending machine.

We all made guesses as to when the baby would come and how much she would weigh. She was checked again an hour after the epidural and was still 8cm, but the baby was now at 0 station (that's good - negative numbers are above the pelvis, 0 is the pelvis, and positive numbers mean the baby is on its way out).

We went to walk some more and got a new nurse. She had just finished her nurse-midwifery training and was assigned to T because she wanted that natural model of care. Side note - I was impressed with the hospital and staff. The first nurse was very helpful and brought in a kit of tools to assist in labor. They had some aromatherapy available there (which came in handy because T loved the lavender scent and I ran out). The second nurse made sure that T understood all her options and the OB did everything she could to help T have a vbac...other doctors might have thrown in the towel and suggested repeat c-section after being stalled for so long.

T's OB came in and discussed starting pitocin. Normally, this is not the way to go with vbacs, but augmenting is different than inducing and they were going to start at a very low dose. However, her contractions had picked up with just the threat of pitocin, so T got another dose of her walking epidural and we pressed on.

A 8:45 she was checked again and her cervix had started to swell. I asked if there was any chance of scar tissue, but the OB said everything was soft and stretchy it just wasn't moving. She said that all of the leaning forward was causing the anterior swelling, but T was leaning forward to try to get the baby to move. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The OB suggested a full epidural to allow T's body to fully relax and then to start pitocin. Before they did that they put an internal monitor in to see how strong the contractions were, and they did an amnioinfusion to try to clear out some of the meconium. So T was hooked up to almost everything imaginable, but at this point her body and uterus was so exhausted that she didn't have many options. She needed that rest!

We all tried to rest. I got Dad set up on the bench with a pillow and a blanket and we turned the lights down low. The epidural did not take away all the pain or pressure, but it was enough to give T a much needed break. Two hours after the pitocin was started T was checked again and was found complete and at a +1 station! There was much rejoicing!

The nurse put a catheter in to empty T's bladder and allow more room for the baby to move down. The nurse left to let T rest more, but it wasn't long before she was saying she felt a different kind of pressure. We were told that because the baby was posterior that it might be hard to push her out. Not long after that, Baby had a decel that had me holding my breath and T sucking down the oxygen. Baby's heart picked back up and when T started doing her practice pushes we were thrilled to discover that the baby had assumed the perfect position for birth!

It was clear from the practice pushes that Baby was coming down and it wasn't long before the OB and the extra nurses came in and started setting up. I woke up Dad and it took him a few minutes to process what was going on. ;)

Pushing was incredibly painful for T, even with the full epidural. But she only had to push for 20 minutes (and endure 33 hours of labor!) and Baby J was earthside! She had a tight nuchal cord that had to be cut before she was fully out, but she didn't have any adverse effects to the meconium.

Baby latched and nursed with no problem for about an hour! She got lots of skin-to-skin time with Mom and had a photo shoot before she was weighed.

Baby J
6 pounds, 15.6 ounces

20.5 inches long

Congratulations to Mom, Dad, and Big Sister!

Happy Birthday, DS4!

This is the final fourth installment of my boys' birth stories. It's another long one and if you're not comfortable with a little TMI, you might want to skip. This was my 3rd vbac, and I was bound and determined to do it natural this time! My sister was once again going to be my (lay) doula/photographer, and my other boys were 6, 4, and 2 at the time. DS4 was due on the 19th and by the time I went into labor I had been dealing with 3 weeks of prodromal labor.

Preface - Thursday night my contractions starting coming back at regular intervals around 8:00. We got the kids to bed and I finished up a bit of work that was so close to being finished I didn't see the point in making it wait until my maternity leave was over. DS1 had complained that his tummy was hurting like he needed to throw up before he went to bed, but he wasn't acting sick or like he was going to throw up. "Just in case" I gave him a bowl and a Children's Mylanta. I got in the tub about 11:00, still having contractions but just visualizing and riding them out. Got out and was getting ready for bed when Chris went to check on the boys sleeping in the playroom (because Grandma (who would be watching the boys while I was in labor) was in their room) and discovered that DS1 threw up in his sleep. He managed not to roll over in it, but we had to wash his sleeping bag and pillow case and the floor and part of the drawers. We went to bed about midnight and I woke up once or twice to pee, a couple times with contractions and once when DS3 woke up... all before 2:00.

I woke up at 2:00 am on the 6th with contractions that were coming very close together and that were way more intense than previous contractions. I got in the tub and was there for maybe 20 minutes before I knew that my tub wasn't going to cut it. I panicked a little bit because I needed Chris but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the contractions on dry land. A couple minutes later he came into the bathroom to empty a bowl that DS1 had thrown up into. While I was so sad that DS1 was sick, I was very relieved that Chris had come into the bathroom!

I told him that either these contractions had to stop or we needed to head to the hospital. I started crying because I was excited to REALLY be in labor, I was so happy Chris came in (he has NEVER come in while I was in the tub before), and I was upset that it was bad timing because DS1 was sick and DS3 was awake. I asked Chris to give me another blessing of comfort. He said something about the baby coming and said that all the boys would be fine while we were gone. I had Chris bring me my bag so I could get ready and had him load up the car - I wasn't going to get out of the tub until I had too. True to my uterus, the contractions slowed down once I made the decision to go. I sat there for a minute wondering if we really should go and had another contraction that confirmed that *my* tub was not the place to be.

I put on my birth top and nursing gown/robe (already had on my necklace) and called the after-hours answering service for the midwives. Told them I was in labor and heading in. She asked what number the midwife could call me back on and I told here I would be at the hospital before she could call me back. lol Got in the car and after calling 4 numbers finally got a hold of Mom and she said her and Deb would come on over. I was still having contractions that I was able to "blow through" (I would blow out and imagine myself blowing ripples into water to symbolize my cervix dilating) but they had slowed down since I was in the tub. Fortunately, I knew this was normal for me. Chris pulled up to the Emergency Entrance and got someone to get a wheel chair. He helped me in it and then went to park the car and get my bags.

We went right up to L&D and straight in to room LD5. I got up on the bed and took off my robe and gown. A nurse checked me (4cm, 80% effaced), drew blood, got a hep-lock in and put me on the monitors. They had to ask the annoying admissions questions (but at least this time they were kind enough not to ask during contractions). They asked me if I wanted to get my tubes tied - I never remember them asking that before. Maybe they thought 4 kids was enough? I kept telling them I needed to get in the tub ASAP.

Mom and Deb arrived and then Midwife (who was AWESOME) came in to talk to me. Once they got 20 minutes of me on the monitor they let me get in the tub. Midwife told me I could stay there until I felt pushy and shook her finger at me like someone had warned her that I wanted a water birth. lol (Truth be told I wasn't opposed to "accidentally" birthing in the tub, but the sides of it felt kind of grimy, so I decided against it.)

Deb stayed by my side pretty much the whole time. We had my music on and (I think) I started moaning through contractions. We sent Chris home to check on the kids and for a while Mom pulled a chair into the bathroom and timed contractions. The nurse came in a couple times to check the baby’s heart beat with the Doppler. Around 6:00 Midwife came in and offered to check me in the tub. I was at 6 cm! We were encouraged by this progress … although for some reason I was having the hardest time figuring out what 3 divided by 2 was. lol I was trying to see how long each of those cm took (1.5 hours, duh) but I think I was trying to divide 2 by 3 instead. :p

Mom left to get some food and help Deb's husband get to kids ready to go to the babysitter. I was hungry and wanted something filling but couldn't for the life of me figure out what. As it was I ate a belly bar that Mom had just happened to buy me the day before and drank a Vitamin water in addition to the water Deb was making sure I was getting.

About 6:10 I changed from my silver top to my red and blue one. We discovered that the silver one was see through and since the whole point of wearing a top in the first place was to get pictures appropriate for the semi-public, I changed. Both the nurse and Midwife commented on me changing and got a laugh out of the fact that it was strictly to get better pictures. Chris commented on it and when we told him why he said “Um, I don’t know if you noticed, but you have nothing on on the bottom” lol

Around 6:30 or so the nurse (reeking of cigarette smoke) came in to check the baby again. She said I had to get out of the tub to start my antibiotics. To quote Deb “Oh Hell to the NO!” I set her straight that I was not positive for GBS and told her to check my blog if she didn't believe me. lol We asked her to have Midwife come in and check me again because we were a little nervous having Mom and Chris away and we wanted to gauge how fast I was going so we would know when to call them back. She said I was 6-7 cm, WAY more anterior and 90% effaced and 0 station. Somehow she convinced me to get out of the tub and sit on the birthing ball for a little bit to help the baby get lower.

Deb told Mom and Chris to come back by 8:00. I got on the ball and they put the monitors on me (I think Midwife tricked me, she didn't say anything about monitors. :p) My contractions kinda disappeared for a few minutes so I was even generous enough to let her get a BP and temp. ;) I decided that my body was very sensitive to change because whenever I moved locations or more/new people came in I would slow down for a little bit and then once I was comfortable with the “situation” the contractions would pick back up.

I was on the ball for about 20 minutes and during that time both Mom and Chris got back. I was doing just fine between contractions, I wiggled around on the ball and ate some strawberries that Mom brought. I noticed an immediate difference once I had a contraction with Chris in the room though; I felt more self conscious doing what I needed to do (moan and bounce) and almost lost it at the peak of the contraction. He wasn't doing or saying anything, but I perceived him as being uncomfortable and it threw me off. Weird.

I jumped back in the tub as soon as they would let me and I think that’s when we started turning the jets on at every contraction (although it could have been sooner). We got back into our groove and Chris and Mom sat out in the main room and looked for baby names.

I got a new nurse at 7:00 and she was more frequent in her Doppler visits, plus she always wanted to listen during a contraction too which meant I couldn't use the jets. I slowed down EVERY TIME she came in. She was nice enough though and at least she didn't stink. The first couple of nurses that we came in contact with didn't mention anything about my birth necklace. The nurse that relieved Smoker of her duties commented on how beautiful it was and I explained to her the meaning behind it. When I was on the birth ball Midwife commented on it and so I told her about it and she said "Oh, and you give it to the midwife afterwards, right?" Then the nurse said she saw it first. lol

I just realized my sister was barefoot in the hospital. Ew! lol

At some point Nurse came in and said that Midwife was having a crazy day and had requested that I get out of the tub so she could check me on the bed (more accurate) and monitor me again. I sent Deb out ahead of me to ask (warn) Mom and Chris not to talk during contractions and to say nothing negative if the outcome of the check wasn't encouraging. I was at 8 cm with a bulging bag of water (that Midwife teased me she tried to break). Unfortunately, a contraction started while I was on my back and even though they sat me up really quick it was too late and I couldn't get on top of it. I had tears streaming down my face as a tried to gasp for air and moan. I was able to get myself composed and handled a few more contractions sitting up on the monitors before I jumped back in the tub.

Enter transition. The contractions started coming with very little break. I had Deb leave the jets on and Mom and Chris were both in the bathroom assisting. Deb reminded me to breath deeply (I had told her earlier my hands and face were getting tingly because I was doing such long moans and not breathing in long enough) and kept reassuring me that I was doing this and I was almost done. She reminded me about all the people that were with me in spirit cheering me on. :) Somebody was keeping the washcloths on my face and neck cold and they even managed to get some video. I think I opened my eyes maybe once.

I *still* was okay between contractions – when there was a between. I discussed with Deb that I didn't see how the pressure could possibly get *any* worse and that we might as well let Midwife check me again and break my water because that might even relieve some of the pressure. I thought “she’ll break my water, I’ll be ready to push and pushing will feel good” little did I know.

We sent Chris out with the message that I wanted the squat bar set up on the bed. I believe I said “I don’t want any dicking around once I get out.” lol I was terrified to get out of the tub and Deb was reassuring me that I was doing great and Chris said “the tub didn't do this, YOU did.” ♥ When all systems were go (Midwife in the room and the bed set up) I got out and Deb and Midwife helped me over to the bed. I asked for oxygen, said something about “don’t you dare put those monitors on me”, had a contraction and then leaned back for her to check me.

1:01pm - 9 cm, 100% effaced, 0 station, still had a bulging bag of water. I sat up and asked her if she broke it and she said no. When I asked her why she said she didn't want me to hit her. lol Apparently we failed to give her the message that it was okay. Chris was funny, “can she break it, can she break it?” So I had another contraction and then leaned back again for her to break it. She told me that once it broke we were going to have a baby. I talked to her about wanting to catch the baby and she told me she would tell me when the shoulders were out and I would pull him up. I asked her if I could just do it all and she tried to tell me that it wasn't really possible, but she agreed we could “play it by ear”. Apparently she knows what she is talking about. :p

At 1:10 we all made our final weight guesses – Midwife and Deb said 8’8, Mom said 8’2, Chris said 7’8 and I (thinking he was 2 weeks early and surely wouldn't be bigger than #2 or #3) said between 7’8 and 7’14.

At 1:12 I started pushing. Remember how I said the pain couldn't possibly get any worse? What. Was. I. THINKING?? I tried to moan and breathe deeply, but I just wanted to escape from my body. I was trying to push with contractions but that didn't provide any relief. I had Mom on my right and Chris on my left supporting me and giving me the oxygen. Deb was the official photographer. ;) I tried squatting and standing and ended up with my knees up to my ears. Reminiscent of the typical “flat on your back with your legs in stirrups” position except I was sitting all the way up.

In between contractions 12 minutes into pushing I scolded Midwife for breaking my water. :p She got ready at 1:32 (when they say I officially started pushing) and she checked me again at 1:35 and said I had a small lip. She then proceeded to hold it out of the way while I pushed. Holy Crap. That hurt. I tried so hard to do low moans while I was pushing but they kept turning into screams and yells at her to get her fingers out. I thought to myself “I’m that girl in the next room that’s freaking out all the other moms." But nobody told me shut up. I yelled out that my butt was ripping in half because even though I could see in the mirror that I was still one piece, I *knew* it was really ripped. Surely I was ripped all the way through! I knew it. Midwife assured me I wasn't but I’m not sure I believed her. I panicked that after all this I wouldn't be able to get him out and I would end up with a C-section. Pushing the right way hurt like hell and damn that midwife that wouldn't take her fingers out of me! Even after his head got past the cervix she put them in so I would push at the right spot. Never once did I think that an epidural would help me. She told me that it hurt her fingers too and I told her I didn't care. lol Between contractions I would lay back and suck in the oxygen that Chris was holding for me like it was a drug. I actually FELL ASLEEP in between one set of contractions. Granted it was only for a split second.

So I pussshhed. And I yelled at the baby to get OUT! And finally, FINALLY, his head was out. Deb had to remind me to open my eyes and look at my baby. And then I saw Midwife turning him and pulling and I still had to push and it still hurt like an SOB, but somewhere in the back of my head it occurred to me that he might be a little stuck and that I needed to give it my all and get him out. So I did. And I was finally able to reach down and pull him up onto me. Official birth time is 1:54pm. I think I was in a little shock for a minute. Once I caught my breath I was able to really look at him and feel his warm little body up against me. I rubbed him and talked to him and he let out a few wails as if asking what the heck just happened. And we confirmed that “It” really is a boy. Turns out he had his right arm up by his face and Midwife had to really work to get him out.

But I had this baby, this adorable little baby that at first glance reminded me of DS2, but on second and third, etc glances just looked like his own little self. Either the nurse was afraid of me ;) or respectful of my wishes, but there was no rough handling or suctioning of the baby. I’m not even sure she touched him after she put a blanket on him. She wanted to look at him because his breathing sounded a little wet but she was fine with checking him over while he was in my arms. Even though just minutes before I was hot and getting patted down with cold washcloths I was now shivering and having hot blankets piled on me.

Since I've always had an epidural I've never really felt the gushing that comes after the baby. It seemed to me that I was bleeding a lot, but Midwife said it was normal. She did say that the placenta was separating and she wanted to cut the cord sooner rather than wait. It was still pulsing (which was cool to feel) but I was okay with them cutting it (it had been three minutes which is better than the 30 seconds DS3 got) so she clamped it and Chris cut it. It was a really thick cord, even Midwife commented that it was nice and thick and we joked that it was a FunDip cord.

I was still cramping and Midwife asked me to push a little and pretty soon the placenta plopped out. That was a really weird sensation. And it turns out that I didn't tear from head to toe like I thought.  I had a first degree tear that required 4 stitches and I tried to get out of it because I didn't want her injecting me with the Lidocaine.  Of course, she strongly recommended the stitches so I just grabbed on to Mom’s arm as she poked me 4 times to get me numb. They didn't even give me the routine shot of Pitocin.

I eventually gave in to peer pressure and let him get weighed as long as they promised to give him right back. And I even agreed to foot prints. :p I was SHOCKED that he was 9 pounds 2 ounces, no WONDER that hurt! I “allowed” Chris to hold him and since he had pooped all over me I found myself agreeing to let them bathe him even though I had originally wanted to do it.

Deb and Mom got a turn to hold the baby and then the nurse came in to give him his bath. They stayed for his bath so that Deb could take pictures and then they went home exhausted. They kept the baby under the warmer for a while and asked if they could do a glucose stick because of his size. I consented to that and since he had some bruising on his face and arm from his hand being up by his face when he was born I consented to the vitamin K. They didn't give me any trouble over declining the eye goop though. APGARs were 8 and 9.

My other birth stories can be read here (DS1), here (DS2), here (DS3), and here (DS5)