Recommended Reading

The Doula Guide to Birth: Secrets Every Pregnant Woman Should Know by Ananda Lowe and Rachel Zimmerman started off with information that I've read a hundred times. Once I got to the section of pushing, I thought, "this is good stuff" and pretty much everything after that was worth reading/recommending.

(Somewhat) Recommended Reading

Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First by Marsden Wagner, M.D., M.S. is not a feel-good book. The stories he tells do not have happy endings, and I finished the book thankful that I was done having children (and more resolved to help the women I serve have better births)! It's one of those books that is meant to fire you up, so proceed with caution.

Lactation Cookies

There are recipes for these cookies all over the web. This is the one I use and I believe I got it from food.com

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 4 tablespoons water
• 2 tablespoons flax seed meal
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3 cups oats
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 2 -4 tablespoons brewer's yeast*

* I have used Nutritional Yeast before because Sprouts had it in the bulk bins, but I just learned that...

Brewer's Yeast is a galactogogue and nutritional yeast is not. They are not compositionally the same - they don't act in the body the same way. So either will work for baking - but one specifically is for helping to boost/support milk production. (source)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Mix the flaxseed meal and water and let sit for 3-5 minutes.
3. Beat butter, sugar, and brown sugar well.
4. Add eggs and mix well.
5. Add flaxseed mix and vanilla, beat well.
6. Sift together flour, brewers yeast, baking soda, and salt.
7. Add dry ingredients to butter mix.
8. Stir in oats and chips.
9. Scoop onto baking sheet.
10. Bake for 12 minutes.
11. Let set for a couple minutes then remove from tray.

Recommended Reading

When I first picked up Birth without Violence by Frederick Leboyer, MD I found the poetry-like format hard to read and thought it was extremely out-dated (we no longer hold babies by their ankles or smack their bums to get them to cry). But as I continued I really appreciated his insight as to what the baby is going through during and after birth. It's a short read and I highly recommend it.

(Not So) Recommended Reading

Homebirth in the Hospital by Stacey Marie Kerr, MD was not what I was expecting. It was more like "Mostly Natural and Sometimes Intervention-free Births in the Hospital" - which is fine, but not homebirth. ;) The majority of the book was birth stories, so if that's what you're looking for then it's worth reading.

More deep thoughts

I wrote this post in 2007 shortly before I found out I was pregnant with DS4

I just finished reading Pushed by Jennifer Block. I would call it great, but really nothing about it is "great". It kind of made me sick to my stomach the crap that doctors are doing to cover their butts or just out of ignorance. Things that are widely touted to make birth safer have actually been proven to cause more interventions and risks. I.E. Electronic Fetal Monitoring - "they" tell the laboring woman that she has to have it on so that they can monitor the baby. But half the time the stupid thing is in the wrong spot (speaking from personal experience) so they can't tell what the baby is doing. It also prohibits movement which hinders progress. And more crap. But that wasn't where I wanted to go with this post. :p

I do highly recommend the book to anyone who plans on having a baby anytime soon.

So, I was thinking. If I could change DS1's birth, would I? If I could wake up tomorrow with no C-section scar, would I? And really I don't think I would change his BIRTH. But I would change the labor. I didn't enjoy the c/s, I didn't enjoy fighting for my vbacs, but I think his birth set me on the path I'm on and I'm not sure I would be so enthralled with natural birth if it hadn't been for the c/s. So for now I'm keeping the c/s, but changing some of the circumstances that lead to it.

I would've stayed home until I was in undeniable labor. As it was we went to the hospital with just a leak of fluid. Not one contraction and barely 1 cm dilated. I was 9 days late and anxious to get the show on the road. I figured that since I was planning on getting the epi there was no reason to stay home. But staying home would've allowed me to eat, drink and rest in peace. I would've waited until I was in active labor and then gone to the hospital thus avoiding the evil pitocin.

Let's say I arrived at the hospital at 5cm and 80%. I would've gotten my IV and epi and happily vegged until I was complete. Of course, they would've broken my water (like they did), but I wouldn't care.

I would still choose to push 3.5 hours; I would've still ended up with the c/s. Knowing everything I know now I believe it was possible for me to have a vaginal birth with him. If I had been allowed to start labor on my own, to remain mobile and encouraged to push squatting or on hands and knees. I really believe that I could've avoided the surgery. But at that time I was only well read on mainstream birth info. I wasn't interested in natural birth - after all, there are no medals for not getting pain meds. I knew little about different positions to push in and that didn't matter because the only position compatible with an epi is flat on the back.

For me to have had a vaginal birth, a new nurse would've had to come in and say "Your epi isn't working anyway, let's turn it and the pitocin off and give your body a rest. Then we'll get up in a vertical position and try again." And I might have been willing to do it, as much as I wanted to avoid surgery.

As it was, I had a great nurse and OB. My OB never pressured me into the c/s even though I'm sure he knew it was going to happen hours before I did. He encouraged me to come to that conclusion by myself and held my hand as I cried about it. I guess I would change the birth in a way - I would've been vocal about wanting to know what exactly the OB was doing. I would've asked that the curtain be lowered so I could see my baby. And I would've told the nurse to move her butt so I could see my baby under the warmer. I would've had someone video tape it.

DS1's birth is what inspired my evolution. When I was pg with DS2 I would day dream about a home birth. I pushed that out of my mind and just focused on a vaginal birth. DS2's birth went very smoothly. My two beefs are not getting admitted the first time I went to the hospital (which was actually a good thing. I probably would've been labeled "failure to progress" and ended up with pitocin or another c/s) and being treated for GBS for no reason.

I probably would've planned another epi-as-soon-as-possible vbac with DS3 if it wasn't for the lack of attachment I felt to DS2. It took me a long time to bond with him and I think that was in part to his birth. DS1's birth was a long emotional ordeal and I was in love with him from the moment I heard him cry. But I didn't feel involved in DS2's birth at all. Once they finally admitted me, I was numbed and emotionally detached from the whole thing. I thought the vbac would feel like a great victory, but the only emotions I remember from that day are panic when my camera's batteries were dead. No joy or ecstasy when he was born.

I was determined not to have the same thing happen at DS3's birth. I read a lot about natural birth and practiced hypnobirthing to some extent. I was excited for labor - I knew my body could birth vaginally and I was determined to do it without drugs. Of my three births, DS3's is the one I would change. I loved his birth the most and yet it is the one I am most disappointed in. I came SO CLOSE!

Again, I would've stayed home. I would've had D and Mom come up to my house and support me through labor until my water broke or I was at least 7cm (I was checking my own cervix and knew I hadn't progressed when we left for the hospital). I would've eaten and rested. I was so exhausted and hungry at the hospital. When I got to the hospital I would've refused the IV antibiotics. I had tested negative for GBS and didn't have any reason to have antibiotics (premature, prolonged rupture of membranes, fever), but they still gave them to me b/c I tested positive 4 YEARS earlier. Not only do I worry about creating antibiotic-resistant nasties in my body from unnecessary antibiotics, I had to deal with 9 months of hell in the form of thrush.

I would have made sure, prior to labor, that DH really understood my desires for a natural birth and that he not only "allowed" it, but supported and encouraged it. I would've had DH be the one to support me as I sat on the edge of the bed as soon as I felt D's legs shaking. I wanted to be clinging to HIM, but I couldn't form that many words. D would've been free to call Mom (who would've been there anyway since she would've been at home with us) and video tape the most amazing thing my body has done. My body took over. I rocked when I felt the need to rock. I moaned low cervix-opening moans. I pushed to relieve pressure. And if I could do it again, I wouldn't have given in. I would have insisted on being checked before they gave me the epi. Once they found me almost complete I would've asked for the squat bar and I would've gotten on the bed and delivered that baby into my OWN hands. Allowing him to rotate on his own and not be forced to do so by the OB. I would've insisted on waiting longer to cut his cord. I would've felt great and awake and invigorated.

I did feel instant love for DS3. I was afraid I wasn't going to since I didn't really feel bonded to him during the pregnancy. But I was so so exhausted that it really damped my excitement.

My next baby will be born into my hands and free from drugs. She might be born in water or on land; at home, hospital or in the woods. ;) But she will be born without any interventions to either of us. Let it be written.

(Somewhat) Recommended Reading

I'd like to sing the praises of The VBAC Companion by Diana Korte, but the thing was written in 1997! Recommendations for vbacs were different then (hello Pitocin everywhere!) and at the time vbac was being encouraged and supported by insurance companies and doctors. So things have changed. I'm on the hunt for a more current vbac book, but in the mean time this one is worth reading if you want a vbac. It gives good insight on how to choose a care provider and birth location and there are snippets of birth stories throughout it.

As Diana herself says in the introduction, "Take only what you want from this book, and ignore the rest"

To V or not to V, that is the question

And by V, I mean vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean). I've had three of them and here are my experiences.

First of all, let's start at the very beginning. My "Wishes for Childbirth" with DS1 included:

I would like to avoid induction unless it is medically necessary
If my water breaks and baby is fine, I prefer to hold off induction
If I go over due and baby and I are fine, I prefer not to be induced
If labor is not progressing, please break water before using drugs to augment

I don't know what happened there, but absolutely NONE of those things happened. And it's partially my fault

One day before my EDD

Ever heard of the Cascade of Interventions? This is a pretty good visual

Source: The Birthing Site

 This was my cascade

In a nutshell that tells the story of my first birth!

When the decision was (mutually) made to do the c-section, my Dr said he would do a low transverse cut so that I could try for a vbac in the future. I asked him if he did those and he said yes.

Thirteen months later when I got pregnant with DS2 I called to make a Dr's appointment and found out that the hospital where I delivered DS1 no longer allowed vbac. I would either have to switch Dr's or go for repeat surgery. My Dr wanted to have a consultation with me, so I scheduled that.

I was told that I had a 50-70% of having a successful vbac. Overall the percentages were 60-80%, but my Dr thought given my history that I would be on the lower end. He said that I could show up ready to push and get my vbac that way, but he didn't recommend it. I decided to interview other doctors and started with the one that my sister-in-law had a successful vbac with.

He said that they encourage vbacs and while they don't normally induce, there are circumstances where they will. Which is fine, I don't really want to be induced. He was much more optimistic about my chances and when I asked him if there were restrictions like me having to dilate 1 cm per hour he looked at me like that was the more absurd thing and said no way would they do that. I decided to switch providers. My decision to attempt vbac was a no-brainer for me; I did NOT want to recover from surgery with a newborn and a toddler. I figured that if my attempts failed at least I gave it my best shot.

I asked later if there was anything that I could do to increase my chances and he said "grow a smaller baby (DS1 was 9.5 pounds) and go into labor on your own" and that women who are sexually active go into labor on average 1-1.5 weeks earlier than those that aren't.

At about 34 weeks we discussed breaking my water if my cervix was favorable at 39 weeks to reduce that chance of a big baby, but I was told that any inductions increases my risk of a repeat c-section. We scheduled the induction for 3/12 (baby was due on the 19th according to them, but the 14th according to me... and the ultrasound, I might add).

At my 37 weeks appt, I was checked and found that I was 3 cm, 70% and -1 station. I was THRILLED with this news because I never made it past -2 station with DS1. The Dr told me I was certainly favorable for induction, but she didn't think I would last that long.

38 weeks

38 week appt showed no change in my cervix, but the ultrasound estimated a 7 pound 3 ounce baby. I asked about being induced sooner (I was so done being pregnant), but they said it is still better if I go on my own (which I now appreciate).

On March 4th I started having a lot of consistent cramping. Since I didn't know what non-Pitocin contractions felt like and I was "high risk" my OB had me come in to be checked. I hadn't made any progress and was quite depressed at that news. I now know there is no mistaking real contractions!

Four days later I woke up with contractions that kept me from sleeping. After about an hour I got in the tub and timed them at 8 minutes apart and then 6 minutes apart. I called the on-call OB and because of my history they didn't want me to wait any longer before coming in. SO excited! The contractions slowed down in the car, but were still painful. By the time they got me in triage and on the bed my contractions had stopped. No progress. SO discouraged! We walked for an hour and I felt lots of pressure and some contractions, but once I was hooked up they stopped. So they sent me home.

I now know that my body takes a while to get used to each new situation and it is not uncommon at all to slow down or stop labor in unfamiliar situations, but it was so hard to be sent home.

That night the contractions picked up again, this time for real! DS2's birth story can be read here. I don't think I put it in his story, but I did have to sign a scary vbac consent form that had every imaginable complication on it. I wasn't worried about my scar because I have always healed well. I think one of the times that I did to succeed in my vbac (as opposed to things out of my control like the smaller baby and spontaneous labor) was not get my epidural until labor was well established and I was 5 cm. Of course, at that time, if I had been given the choice I would've gotten it as soon as I got to the hospital!

Fast forward 15 months and I was expecting again. At my first OB appt I was told that my chances of having another vbac were even better than they were with the first one and that in his 20 years of delivering babies he has only had one uterine rupture. I wasn't nervous about DS3's birth at all, I knew I could do it. So instead of focusing on vbac, I focused on trying to go natural.

37 weeks 5 days, 2 days before baby was born

His story can be read here. Again, there were a few things I didn't mention in that. I had to sign the scary consent form again, but was expecting that. Once I was standing up and the nurse was adjusting my monitors. She had her face inches from my scar and commented on how nice it looked. "Why, thank you" lol After the delivery, the OB informed me that he checked my scar internally and everything felt good. It wasn't until later that I realized he stuck his entire hand up me and into my uterus to feel my scar! I must admit I felt a little violated by that and was pretty ticked when I later found out that it's not even evidence-based medicine!

When I was pregnant with my fourth baby I decided to explore my other options including using a midwife and having a water birth. Home birth was not an option for us for many reasons, and the freestanding birth center couldn't accept vbac clients. There was one midwifery group that practiced at a hospital that did water birth, but not for vbacs. I send the following letter to all the midwives...

I recently called your practice to see if there were any midwives that are supportive of water birth. I was thrilled to hear that pretty much the whole group did them. I was quickly discouraged when I heard that water births are not offered to VBAC patients. I have had two problem-free VBACs since my C-section in 2002 and do not feel like my scar should prevent me from having the birth of my dreams. Is there any way to make an exception to this rule?

I was actually surprised to get a phone call from one of the midwives not much later and she told me that they discussed my situation as a group but still weren't comfortable offering me that option. So I decided to stay with the practice I had my last two babies with and just switch to the midwives there.

Timeline

That made my labor better in many ways; the nurses would use the Doppler to check the baby while I was still in the tub, the midwife would actually check my cervix in the tub, and I never had to sign the stupid consent form. They were also MUCH more supportive of natural birth, I was never asked to rate my pain (which is another thing that I find annoying and stupid; if I'm in pain and want drugs why do you care what number it is?!) His birth story can be found here.

Recommended Reading (and Viewing)

Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options, Discover the Natural Choices, and Take Back the Birth Experience by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein

I found this book to be informative and non-judgmental (which some of the natural birth books can be). It was written after The Business of Being Born and now there is More Business of Being Born (which is a series I am currently watching).

The definitely recommend this book and the videos (which can be watched on Netflix) for first time moms, or moms that weren't satisfied with their previous births.

Blessing Ways and Birth Necklaces

When I was pregnant with DS4 I was introduced to the concept of Blessing Ways. In short, a Blessing Way or "mother blessing" comes from a Navajo Tradition. Women gather together and "bless" the pregnant women. They tell her positive things about birth, give her affirmations, brush her hair, massage her feet, make a belly cast. They each bring a bead with a wish - for instance "May you be in tune with your baby and birth", "May you be surrounded by supportive people" or "May your baby be born peacefully" or even a simple "I love you, you'll do great". These beads are strung into a necklace that the woman wears when in labor. And all of the "blessings" that those beads represent are there with her.

The Birth Necklace is the thing that appealed to me most. I loved the thought that even if P (my sister) is still in AZ or D (my other sister/doula) is at work they would still be with me in spirit. I loved knowing that no matter what time it was my friends as far as Boston and Mexico would be right there supporting me.

I was on a due date group on Mothering.com and someone there arranged a birth bead swap. I didn't know these people aside from the internet and only for a couple months at this point, but I joined the swap. I wasn't sure if I would ask my family and friends to join at first because I was afraid none of them would get it. But then I got my beads from women that I barely knew and saw how fun it was to see the variety of beads and why they chose them and what blessings they had. I was touched by their thoughts and knew that beads from people I knew would be an even greater blessing.

My two sisters, two sisters-in-law and mom did have a Blessing Way of sorts for me. The six of us went up to a condo where they did a belly cast and pampered me in every way imaginable!

The next day was a baby shower where guests were asked to bring a frozen meal (perfect gift for a mom expecting her 4th boy - or any mom!) and a birth bead. I struggled to read the blessings out loud. ;)

I typed up the blessings and made a list of the "highlights" for my sister to read to me when I was in labor. I had no doubt that I could succeed with so many great women behind me.

• think of your boys and know that it is all worth it
• openness
• eternal significance of birth
• power, endurance, and peace
• strengthen you
• words of strength (journey, passion, dream)
• You can do it
• energy
• sunlight, joy, happiness
• stay centered and focused
• you will be protected
• new little boy will be healthy and strong
• strength
• confidence and assurance
• when your tears fall, you will feel all the other women that have cried those same tears and you draw from their strength and be able to accomplish all that you desire
• joy of womanhood
• fast labor
• love and support
• enhanced physical strength, stability and vigor… reduced negativity and alleviated anxiety
• beautiful natural labor and birth
• strength
• your body opening up, fresh, beautiful, perfect
• strength and beauty
• Calm
• a fulfilling and empowering birth
• loved and supported
• calming, happy thoughts
• beautiful birth
• perfect birth
• a calm peace within you and those around you for the strength of an amazing birth.
• harmony, healing, and peace
• birth is gently, empowering and beautiful!
• joyful birth
• gentle, peaceful birthing
• positive change, good health, growth and healing

The day came and I wore my "gypsy" necklace with pride. I loved everything about it, and still do!

Recommended Reading

I requested The Midwife's Tale by Sam Thomas after reading an interview with the author on Mama Birth's blog. I really enjoyed the story and how the author was true to the times. One thing in particular that was fun for me was reading about the "gossips" that attended the births. The author doesn't go into much detail about them, but I had already read a little bit about them in Get Me Out.

The best description I could find online was from the book Childbirth and Authoritative Knowledge: Cross-cultural Perspectives, which I was pleased to see is free to read on Google Books. (Apparently I can't copy and paste from the book, which makes sense, but if you want more detail it's on page 211)

Gossips originally were called God-Sibs and they were a laboring mother's sisters in God. They were there to "nurture her during labor and to care for both her and the baby afterward...They came from the surrounding neighborhood to make the birth room ready, to sit with, comfort, and encourage her, to cook sustaining food and prepare herbal drinks, to pray and sing together, and to share in what was essentially an exclusively female process of bonding in love and power."

In other words, they were doulas! Love it!

P.S. I wish the girl in white was pregnant because that would make a GREAT doula figurine, don't you think?

What do I believe in?

I have a lot of beliefs, but for the sake of brevity, I'm going to focus on my beliefs as they pertain to birth.

• I believe in being informed. The expectant mother has the right (and dare I say, obligation) to be informed. With that information she can make choices during her labor that she is happy with. My goal is to help the woman that I serve become informed *before* they go into labor.
  
  With my first birth I can't say that I was informed. I expected to go into labor, get the epidural, push and have a warm, wet baby placed on my chest. I was informed enough to know that inductions led to higher cesarean rates, and I didn't want that, but I wasn't informed enough to know that I didn't have to rush to the hospital at the first sign of my water leaking (which led to one intervention after the other, ending in a cesarean)
• I believe that birth matters! Absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, the number one goal is that Mom and Baby are healthy. But birth matters! Where you give birth, who your support is, who your care provider is, how it all ends up - it all matters. Your feelings about the birth after it happens are valid and my goal is to help you be happy with your birth - however you choose to do it.
  
  Switching from the OBs to the midwives (at the same practice) made all the difference with my fourth birth. I felt much more support and respect throughout the whole process (and by that time I was informed enough to know what I could say no to).
• I believe in going into labor naturally. I know there are valid medical reasons for getting induced, but I believe in most instances it is best for both mom and baby to wait for it to happen on it's own. This is not to say that I wouldn't be happy to support a mom that chooses to be/has to be induced for whatever reason. In fact, she made need a doula even more if that is the case.
  
  I had a thought this morning as I was able to sleep in to my heart's desire, that sleep is kind of like labor. Allowing a baby to "wake up" on their own is much more gentle then having a blaring alarm clock (i.e. Pitocin) wake them up.
  
  Having had a cesarean with my first, I was not "allowed" to have Pitocin with my subsequent labors and I loved that that option was off the table. When my belly got huge with DS4 and well meaning family members asked what "they" were going to do about it, I was able to say "nothing". I wasn't about to agree to another surgery, Pitocin would increase my risks of uterine rupture, and AROM (breaking my water) would increase the pain of labor and put me on the clock (leading to another c-section if I didn't labor fast enough). I was happy to say there was nothing "they" could do about it.
• I believe in being able to move, change positions, etc in labor. Once a laboring woman gets an epidural she is stuck in bed with monitors and wires attached to her. It's hard to let gravity help with labor when you are in bed. I encourage women to learn some pain relieving techniques because you never know if you'll have to wait for the epidural, if the epidural might not work, or if you end up going so fast that you can't get pain meds.
  
  I am not against pain meds or epidurals. In fact, I think it is pretty close to torture for a woman to be forced to go natural when she doesn't want or isn't prepared. I have had three epidurals (although at the time I didn't know what was in them (see point #1) but I may not have cared because I didn't have any other coping tools). I went into my first labor planning on getting the epidural asap. I lasted 45 minutes after the Pitocin was started and I think I cried through every contraction. My plan was the same for DS2, but they wouldn't admit me until I was 5cm. Some of the time I was walking and would squat for contractions, but I spent a good portion hooked up to monitors on the bed crying, tensing up, and having a hard time breathing. I was able to get in the tub and that helped a lot, but I was not prepared to labor naturally for so long and I was a mess!
  
  With DS3 I was leaning toward a natural birth and did a lot of reading and practiced some Hypnobirthing techniques. I was not committed to "going all the way", but rather I was going to see how far I could get. This time I had my sister acting as a doula. Even though I went a little primal at the end, my DH said that I was much more out-of-control with DS2 then I ever was with DS3. He was surprised at how good that "hypno stuff" worked.
  
  I was dead set on having a natural birth with my last baby and I spent most of his labor in the tub, some of it on the birthing ball, and only at the very end was I on the bed and even then I was able to squat, stand, or sit. It helps!

I think that's a good start, but what it really boils down to is what the women I support believe because I am there for them, not me! What are your beliefs in regards to birth?

Recommended (with reservations) Reading

I just finished reading Get Me Out: A History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank by Randi Hutter Epstein, M.D.

This book wasn't so much a history of birth as it was a history of the woman's reproductive health and everything it entails. I found it interesting from a historical stand point, but it didn't enhance my doula skills at all. I recommend this with reservations because there were some rather disturbing parts and it's not exactly uplifting. ;)

You can read a more thorough review here

Happy Birthday, DS2!

It's DS2's tenth birthday, so here is his story! This was my first attempt at a vbac and that (along with a healthy baby, of course) was my only goal. Natural birth was not on my radar at the time.

Monday, March 8th I woke up with contractions and they were regular enough and strong enough that we went to the hospital. Unfortunately, once we got there they stopped and we were sent home. My contractions never fully went away, but when DH and I were watching the Av's game they started to hurt worse. I refused to time them because I was afraid that they weren't regular, meaning nothing was happening and I was also afraid that they were regular, meaning I would get my hopes up again.

After the game I went to take a shower. I had already taken two baths that day, but I needed to wash my hair. I had a few contractions in the shower, but they weren't too bad, the water helps a lot. I got out and go online for a little bit. I broke down and timed 3 contractions - they were 6 minutes apart. DH said I should come to bed and try to sleep. I was hoping that I would just be able to sleep through them, but no luck. They were still coming every 6 minutes and a few of them I had to get out of bed and rock through. I tried a heating pad and that helped a little, but these weren't backing down.

I called the Dr and told him what was going on. I said that I had just been to the hospital and didn't want to come again if this wasn't the real thing. He said with my past c-section I should definitely come in if they were about 5 minutes apart. Another reason I was hesitant to go in was that we would have to call our friends and ask one of them to come spend the night. It was about 1:30 when DH finally convinced me that we had to go in. Some of my contractions were 3 minutes apart.

I called over to a friend's house and her husband answered (after the third try). He said he would come on over and then bring DS1 to his house in the morning. I looked in at DS1 (a few months shy of 2) before we left and he was the most angelic thing I have ever seen. We left the house about 2:00 and got to the hospital at 2:30. My contractions had slowed down to 7 minutes apart once we got in the car, but they still hurt.

The main entrance to the hospital was closed, so we had to go in through the ER. They made me get in a wheel chair and took me up to L&D. They gave us a room and put me on the monitors. The contractions were about every 6 to 7 minutes. The nurse checked me and said that I was 4cm and 70%, so I had made some progress. My contractions weren't close enough for them to admit me yet, so they made us walk for a half hour. As soon as we started walking, they would come every TWO minutes! And every other one hurt! I would have to stop and rock and DH would rub my back. I said that there was NO WAY that they were sending me home! I couldn't handle these pains for the next three days until my induction. {While in my head I knew that my best bet for a vbac was to go into labor on my own, we were concerned that I would have another big baby and thus end up with another c-section. We had decided to let the Dr break my water to start labor, but I'm glad it didn't come to that.}

We went back to the room and I was checked again. I was a little bit more effaced. My contractions once I got on the monitor slowed down to 6 minutes again. The nurse said that "real labor" wouldn't slow down. I was in a lot of pain while I was being monitored, I couldn't move, all I could do was squeeze DH's hands and cry. The nurse offered me pain meds or the tub. I chose to get in the tub because I knew that water helps it not hurt so bad. That was about 4:00.

Once I got in the tub the contractions were about every 3 to 5 minutes apart. They still hurt, but they were bearable with the hot water and I wasn't crying through them anymore. After about a half hour we decided to get out and talk to the Dr. We weren't too happy with this nurse and we wanted to see what our options were, because going home was NOT one of them!

We got out and she checked me and said, "we'll keep you." I could've kissed her! I had progressed to 5 cm and 100%. I was on the monitors again and this time my contractions didn't slow down. They hurt like hell and I was crying through them. One was so bad that I started hyperventilating when I was trying to breathe and my face got all tingly. That scared me and I was crying harder, which made it even more difficult to breathe. DH was doing all he could, rubbing my back and holding my hands.

I asked the nurse how long I had to stay in bed and she asked if I wanted my epidural - YES!!!! I had to get my IV fluids in first and they took some blood, but by 5:15 I was getting the drugs. The anesthesiologist was a very nice guy and took time to explain what was going on. He was able to do it between contractions. He did a spinal and then hooked the epi up. I had a button that I could push to add more meds if I needed them.

I felt MUCH better after the drugs and I was able to relax. I called my mom to let her know today was the day so that she could be prepared. The IV antibiotics were burning my arm and so the nurse came in and applied a hot pack. She seemed nicer now that we were actually admitted. Before she seemed annoyed with us.

At 6:10 I felt a little gush and told the nurse that I thought my water broke. She checked my pad and said that it appeared that way. We were hoping that would make my labor go even faster. I also asked for some Benadryl because the epidural made me itch like crazy!

I was checked again at 8:20. This time I had a new nurse (Caroline) and another nurse that was a student and they asked if she could observe. I didn't care. Anyway, Caroline checked me and said I was a 6 and 100% effaced and that DS2 was at 0 station. She also said that there was a bulging bag of water that was cushioning my cervix from the baby's head. Apparently, my water was just leaking.

The Dr came in at 8:35 and finished breaking my water. He said the fluid was clear, so that was good. I never had an appt with this Dr, but I was very pleased with him.

At 9:03 my contractions were steady at 3 minutes apart, I could feel some pressure, but no pain. I was in heaven! I was due for more antibiotics at 9:15 and I told the nurse that I still didn't have a catheter in (opps!). She asked if the student nurse could insert it and I said, "Sure, I can't feel anything anyway. " They had to lean me back to do it and I threw up almost immediately. She said that was probably due to my blood pressure going down so they put me on my side.

My back was hurting me and I was starting to feel the contractions more so I pressed the epi button. I didn't want to do too much because I wanted to be able to push well, but I also didn't want to be in pain.

At 10:10 the nurse's checked me and I was 9 cm and +1 station. My mom showed up around this time and we were all very excited waiting for DS2 to come! I asked them to check me again at 11:25. I wasn't feeling the urge to push, but I was ready to get the show on the road! I was complete and baby was a little lower than +1. Caroline asked if we were ready to push and DH said, "YES!"

I started pushing at 11:30. He started descending with the first try; so we were pretty positive that he was going come out the good old-fashioned way! Mom took some action shots of me pushing (from the side). I asked for a mirror and when we could see the head, I asked if I could touch it. It was very soft and squishy I was thinking it would feel hard, like bone. DH said that it was really small and the nurse laughed and told him that that was only part of it. It didn't take long before she broke down the bed and called for the Dr and some help. I asked her what kind of help and she said for once the baby was born to clean him, etc. that nothing was wrong.

I pushed a few times with the Dr and the head came out, he actually told me that I was pushing too good and to just give him little pushes. DH asked if babies ever cry with just their heads out and the Dr told him that they couldn't because they couldn't get any air in their lungs yet, but that sometimes they squeak. I already knew that, but I had to kind of laugh inside. I gave a little push to get the shoulders out and then the Dr told me to look down and I helped place him on me. He was born at 12:21pm; I pushed for just over 45 minutes!

Dr said the cord was a little short, so he had DH cut it (which I didn't think he would) and then they put DS2 up on my chest. He was so quiet and alert, barely made a peep. I counted his fingers and toes, just to make sure. He has long slender fingers. We rubbed him off and then I tired to nurse him. Took us a while to get him to latch on, but we finally succeeded.

I studied his face and noted that he has my nose. I think he has the same lips as DS1, but other than that they don't look much alike. After a while the nurses took him to evaluate him and give him his first bath. They did all this right there in the room next to me. He weighed 7 pounds, 14 ounces and was 21 inches long. His head measured 13.25 inches - DS1's was 14, I guess .75 really does make a difference. DS2 barely peeped while they were examining him. He did cry a bit when they gave him the Vit K shot, but he calmed down really quick. He is precious and perfect.

See DS3's birth story here; and stay tuned for the births of DS1 and DS4

Recommended Reading Part 2

Another book that was on my list of approved books was The Doula Advantage: Your Complete Guide to Having an Empowered and Positive Birth with the Help of a Professional Childbirth Assistant.

This book was a MUCH smoother read than the one I previously mentioned. It still mentioned some statistics (which are pretty impressive), but they didn't dominate the book. Interspersed throughout the book were little glimpses about mother's experiences, and I enjoyed those "real life" scenarios.

While this book is aimed toward expecting parents (and I would highly recommend it to them), it is also helpful for doulas or doulas-to-be to read.

Recommended (with reservations) Reading

The second book review I did was on Heart and Hands: A Midwife's Guide to Pregnancy and Birth. As doulas we are not allowed to do any diagnosing or medical procedures, but the book was still informative and enjoyable.

One thing that I found interesting was that the author said after a woman reaches 6 cm, they go by how much cervix is left because some women need to dilate more than 10 cm. For instance, one woman might have to dilate to 11 cm before she is complete. So if she is 8 cm she would have 3 cm left to go and would be told she was 7 cm. Another woman might only need to dilate to 8 cm to be complete so she would be told she was 8 cm (when she was really 6) since she only has 2 more cm to go.

I see how this makes sense because a midwife can't possibly know how far a woman will need to dilate to be complete in advance. I once had a nurse tell me that it was impossible to go more than 10 cm and I thought that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Why on earth would every woman's cervix open exactly the same amount (and who is using a ruler, anyway?!)?

I would recommend this book to birth professionals, especially childbirth educators and aspiring midwives. I'm not sure I would recommend it to expectant mothers unless, like me, they are birth junkies. ;)

Recommended Reading

One of the books that I requested from the library that wasn't on the reading list was The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times. I didn't realize until I picked it up that it is a companion to the PBS series Call The Midwife. *squeal* Knowing that Nurse Jenny Lee was a real midwife made the series all the more fascinating for me (Seasons 1 and 2 are on Netflix; Season 3 airs on March 30th).

Even though I was familiar with most (if not all) of the births in the first book, I devoured it. I loved that Jenny was able to go into more detail about the history of childbirth and the practices at the time. As a self proclaimed birth junkie, this was a great fix!

As soon as I could I went to the library and got books two and three; Call the Midwife: Shadows for the Workhouse and Call the Midwife: Farewell to the East End. I was sorely disappointed that the second book contained not one birth story, but I read it quickly anyway. The third book was back to births which thrilled me. I wish that there were more books; I don't know where the stories for Season 3 are going to come from.

While I don't think these books enhanced my doula skills, they sure fed my birth obsession (and made me appreciate modern accommodations)!

Happy Birthday DS3!

In honor of my third son's 8th birthday, I am posting his birth story (sorry it's long, I like them that way. This was my second vbac; I was planning on using Hynobirthing until I could get the epidural; my sister would act as my doula.

I went to bed on the 3rd after taking a bath because of some mild contractions and a sore back. I woke up at 3:00 with a very painful (at least I thought that was pain) contraction. I thought I just had a really full bladder and that's what was causing it to hurt so much. After I went to the bathroom, I laid down and continued to get them. After about 20 minutes I went downstairs.

After about an hour and a half of contractions about 4 minutes apart I went to wake up DH. We decided to wait it out a little longer before we called anyone. At 4:45 I called my sister (D) and had her come up. DH got up and took a shower and I got a few things ready.

My sister arrived about 6:00. I had just paged the Dr and was waiting for her to call me back. I had to page the Dr again and she finally called me back about 6:45. I was in the middle of a contraction so D talked to her. She said to come in and get checked (duh). We headed down to the hospital and got there about 7:15. The nurse at L&D check-in was a little rude because the Dr hadn't called to tell them I was coming.

Nurse #1 (don't remember her name) came in to monitor me and ask all the pre-admission questions. I think the contractions were coming about 6 minutes apart. She kept me on the monitor for a while because she wasn't getting a good reactive tracing on the baby. She had me drink a bunch of apple juice and that got the baby moving and gave her what she wanted to see. When she checked me at 7:50 I was 3.5 cm, 95% and -1/-2 station.

A lady came in to ask Nurse #1 if a student could observe. She told her she was almost finished and the lady left the room. Then she asked if I minded having a student. I said I didn't care, but she was telling us how she hates them hanging around because some of them aren't even nursing students. So I said "Actually, I don't want any extra people in here." Then she blessed me. lol

Of course she couldn't just admit me and made us get out to walk. My mom had arrived by then and I put my clothes on and we went to walk around outside. It was a really nice morning. We walked around for about an hour (from 10-11). DH made a run to McDonald's while we were walking to get some breakfast for him and D. They ended up giving him twice what he ordered so I was sneaky and ate a sausage, cheese and egg mcmuffin. The apple juice I had to drink was giving me major gas pains. Those hurt more than the contractions.



I was monitored some more - this time on the birthing ball - and true to my shy uterus I wasn't having very many contractions. She checked me again and I was still at 3.5 and 95%. My cervix was more anterior which was a good sign so she "allowed" us to walk around for another hour (from 12:15-1:15). She gave Mom the assignment to keep me walking at a fast clip for an hour and Mom took that job seriously. I was SO sleepy and we had Mom on one side and D on the other dragging me all over that hospital.


I was having contractions about every two minutes. We got back to the room and she hooked me up to the monitors once again. I was having contractions, but they were back to about 6 minutes apart. I was checked again at 2:06 and was a 4 (still 95% and -1/-2), so she finally decided to admit me.

Shortly after, at 3:00, a new nurse came in. Her name was Jenna and she was GREAT. Nurse #1 was really friendly, but she didn't seem very excited about accommodating me and my birth plan. She told me I was high risk so I had to have the monitors on at all times. She told me I couldn't get my bracelets wet and that they didn't have the wireless monitors so I wouldn't be able to get in the tub once I was admitted. That was a lie because my sister used them 7 months earlier (to the day!). Anyway, Jenna was fantastic. She told me I could put my bracelets and the IV under the water. I just had to wait for them to start the IV and then I was able to get in.

Ahhhh, the water felt so good! D stayed in the bathroom and kept me company. She knew right away when I was having a contraction and would remind me to relax. I was having regular contractions, but they were manageable with the water. I had to be monitored for part of every hour. Jenna worked really hard to find the wireless monitors, but once she finally did we found out the receiver in the bathroom didn't work. She offered to switch rooms, but I decided it wasn't necessary.

I got out of the tub and was monitored on the birthing ball. My contractions were still pretty steady and I was having to focus on them. I was able to get back in the tub after about 20 minutes. We decided to get my cervix checked after I needed to be monitored again and then see what we wanted to do.







D's husband ("J" who was watching his son and our two boys) called around this time. He had taken the kids to do something he had to do for church and forgot a bottle for the baby. So he was going to stop by the hospital for D to feed him. DH went down and brought the boys up to say hi. DS1 (almost 4 at the time) ran in and asked "Is the baby here yet?" He was SO excited for the baby to be here. DS2 (5 days shy of 2) saw me and just kept giving me the hugest smiles. They stood on a stool at the side of the tub and raided my ice. DS2 accidentally dropped one in the tub and said "Ah! Ice swimming!" And that's all he did the rest of the time was drop ice in my water.

I had a couple contractions while they were there and just told them I needed quiet. D helped me relax through them. The contractions I was having in the tub the first time were very close together, but short and easy to get through. These were spaced out more but longer and more intense.


DS2 was really sad when he had to leave, but I think he got over it pretty fast. Mom and J took the kids over to her house to play for a bit and give J a little break. DH called his sister and she said she would come up and spend the night with the kids.

I got out to be monitored again at 5:55 and Dr Minton (same Dr that delivered D's baby!) checked me. I was at 5cm and 100%. It had been about 4 hours since I was last checked. I was getting tired and wanted to get the show on the road so we decided to break my water. I needed to be monitored for about 10 minutes after that to make sure the baby was fine.

I was on the birthing ball, but the contractions were so much worse. I had a hard time getting a grip on the last two before I could get back in the tub. D was SO good helping me to relax and supporting me. I decided to try one contraction in the tub and see how I did. It still hurt like hell, but it was more manageable in the tub. I knew that there was no way I would be able to survive and had the nurse get the ball rolling on the epi.

The contractions were coming fast and furious. D and DH were so good trying to keep me from losing it. I started crying and told D that I couldn't do it. I almost made her lose it, but she was right in my ear telling me to breathe and relax.

I started getting tingly and told DH I needed some oxygen. He called the nurse and she said as soon as the next contraction was over I had to get out of the tub. They worked really quickly to get me out and sit me on the side of the bed. I was in massive pain. The contractions weren't giving me much of a break. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning on D and I could feel her quivering from the position she was in, but she wasn't going to give up. DH was behind me rubbing my back and holding the oxygen mask for me.

Having the oxygen mask there helped me to concentrate on breathing deep and calmed me down ... for a few seconds. I pretty much went primal. One contraction I started doing deep moans. I could hear DH trying to comfort and shush me, but I wasn't in control. The next one I started rocking back and forth. D and DH were trying to get me to relax and I had to squeak out "I need to rock!" There was no break, I kept starting to cry out, but D did really good about getting me to attempt to breathe. Then I started pushing through the pain. I said "I'm pushing and I don't care if it's okay."

At some point Jenna had me sign the epi consent forms and my handwriting was insane. The pushing and oxygen kept me still enough for the epi. D was supporting me and DH was right next to her giving me his hand to squeeze.

Seemed like the epi took forever to place. I have no clue the time frame of how long it took from tub to epi. They got it in and after a couple contraction it started to kick in a little and they laid me back. Jenna gave me a few minutes to collect myself and then she put the catheter in and I had her check me. Figured I would be a 7 or something. All I had was an anterior lip. (it turns out I got the epidural at about 7:20, so it was only an hour and 20 minutes from AROM at 5cm to complete and 0 station)


Mom arrived and I tried to get some rest before pushing. I was so exhausted. I threw up and must've kinked my back somehow because it was really bothering me. I wanted to start pushing and get it over with, but the Dr had an emergency so I had to wait about 20 minutes. We took guesses to the baby's "stats": I guessed right about 7 lb and 20-20.5 inches; DH 7'10 and 20 inches; Mom 7'4 and 19.5 inches; D 7'4 and 21 inches.

The epi wasn't as strong as my others; I could still wiggle my feet and feel pressure with the contraction. Found out later that my pulse was really high and the drug Dr gave me less than normal. I was pushing with the contractions anyway because there was a butt in my ribs that was bothering me.

Jenna and the Dr came up and we did a couple practice pushes about 8:45. Jenna was really great about my birthplan. She told the Dr how I wanted to help bring the baby up, wait for the cord, cut the cord, etc. She talked to me about the pitocin after the delivery and explained why it was a good idea. My concern was the fact that I wasn't supposed to have it because of the c-section, but both her and the Dr said that once my uterus wasn't extended it wasn't an issue. I had Mom on one side and DH on the other with D taking video.

The Dr was really funny. He said "you call that a push? Your sister pushed much better than that." I was also commenting on the view I had in the mirror and he told me to quit playing or he was going to take it away. My contractions slowed down a bit as soon as I started pushing, of course. I think I only pushed for 5 or 6 of them.




After his head and shoulders came out, I was able to reach down and help pull him onto my belly. He felt SO tiny! We rubbed him a little bit and suctioned him and then they clamped the cord. DH didn't really care if he cut it, so I did it. It was a really odd sensation.


Daddy called seconds after DS3 was born and got to hear his first little cat-like cries.


I held him and we ooh'd and awe'd over him for a little bit. Then we had him weighed because we were all curious. I was sure he was about 7 pounds. I couldn't believe he was 7.5!



They brought him right back and I asked DH if he wanted to hold his baby. "Yes!" He was passed between the three of them while I was FINALLY able to eat something.

I was so tired. So very tired.

Dr and Baby


The Dr and all the nurses left the room for a while and we had time to just play with the baby. We decided on a name and after I ate we gave him the chance to nurse and he latched right on and went to town!

The nurse came back to do the vit K shot, eye drops and bath. That's also when she measured his head and length. She said he was perfect, but of course I knew that.


I have wished many times that I would've had the nurse check me before I got the epidural because I was so very close to being done! However, my mom wasn't there and most likely would've missed the birth and my sister might not have had a chance to grab the camera. So it all worked out. ;)

My other birth stories can be read here (DS1), here (DS2), and here (DS4)